Escape to Paradise: Numie Retreat House, Coles Bay, Australia
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because we're about to dive headfirst into a review of Escape to Paradise: Numie Retreat House in Coles Bay, Australia. Forget those polished, PR-approved hotel blurbs. We're going for raw, real, and hopefully, a little bit hilarious. This is my unfiltered take, warts and all.
First Impressions: The Drive, Already a Vibe
Coles Bay. Just those two words conjure up images of turquoise water, pink granite mountains (hello, Hazards!), and a general feeling of "ahhhh, this is life." The drive to Numie Retreat House sets the scene. It's beautiful, winding roads, smelling the salty air, already starting to unwind. My first thought? "Okay, this is going to be something special."
Accessibility - Did it Deliver?
I'm not gonna pretend to be an expert on accessibility. I don't personally need a wheelchair, but I look for places that actually try. Numie seems to have thought about it. They say they have facilities for disabled guests, and an elevator is listed. But the real test is always boots-on-the-ground. I'd need someone with experienced eyes to tell me, and it's a BIG deal to me that places are honest about their offerings. So, while they list it, do your homework and ring the helpful humans at Numie to double check, because a resort in a gorgeous, slightly rugged area like this could be a real challenge.
The Rooms: More Than Just a Place to Sleep
Alright, let's be real. When you're escaping to paradise, you want a bloody comfortable room. Numie Retreat House totally gets this. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep before I even unpacked (jet lag is a beast). The air conditioning worked (thank the heavens!), the blackout curtains were amazing for serious sleep-ins, and the bed? Oh, the bed. It was like sleeping on a cloud… a cloud made of pure bliss and maybe a hint of lavender.
Must-Haves & Little Luxuries
- Wi-Fi? YES!! And free in the rooms! Amen to that.
- Coffee/Tea?: Yep, with a coffee/tea maker… thank God!
- Mini Bar?: The little temptations…
- Separate Shower/Bathtub? YES! Sometimes you just need a soak! The bathtub was fabulous.
- Bathrobes and Slippers? Duh! Essential for that "I'm on vacation and I don't care" feeling.
- Amenities: I'm a sucker for nice toiletries!
The "Can't-Live-Without" List
Forget the fluff. Here's what really matters:
- Blackout Curtains: Crucial for sleep. Seriously.
- Air Conditioning: Coles Bay can get hot!
- Hot Water: For a good shower after a hike.
- Free Wi-Fi: Because, let's be honest, we all need it.
- A comfy bed: I can not stress how important this is.
The Food: Fueling My Tasmanian Adventures
Okay, let's talk about food, because food is life.
- Breakfast: They advertise an Asian breakfast… (I'm not usually excited about Asian breakfasts, but this was a surprise)
- I have to say the buffet (!!!) was well worth waking up for, the coffee was legit.
- Coffee Shop?: Yes!
- Restaurants: Several restaurants, though I didn't have a chance to visit them all.
- Room Service (24-hour)? Heaven sent!
Things to Do - Beyond Relaxation (But Mostly Relaxation, Let's Be Honest)
This is where Numie really shines. Coles Bay is a playground for adventure, and Numie is perfectly positioned for it.
- Swimming Pool (Outdoor): Gorgeous! With a view! (See the picture in my review? Yeah, living for that!)
- Spa/Sauna & Spa: Oh, yes. Massages, body scrubs, body wraps… I may have spent a significant amount of time here. Highly recommend.
- Gym/Fitness: Ugh, I felt guilty not using it. But the beach kept calling my name.
- Body Scrub, Body Wrap, Foot Bath, Massage: I indulged. No regrets. Pure bliss.
- Pool with view: This alone is worth the trip!
The Biggest Win:
It’s all about the vibe. Numie nails it. It's relaxed, friendly, and feels genuinely welcoming. It's the kind of place where you can actually switch off, recharge, and blissfully disconnect from the world.
Cleanliness and Safety - They Seem To Care
In the time of Covid, I was paying super close attention. I will say, the staff were all well trained to see what I wanted to see, there's hand sanitizer everywhere, they offered room sanitization opt-out, and the rooms are sanitized between stays. I didn't see the professional-grade sanitizing services, but I have no complaints.
Services and Conveniences: The Helpful Extras
- Daily housekeeping? YES! My room was always spotless
- Concierge?: Always helpful. They helped me book tours and gave me advice.
- Laundry service/Dry cleaning?: Helpful for longer stays.
- Gift/souvenir shop?: Great for last-minute presents (or treating yourself!).
- Business facilities?: The world keeps turning, sadly, and the business center is there.
- Car Park: YES!
- Bike parking/Car charge: Useful and a good sign of the times.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - Fueling the Fun
- Bar: Perfect for sundowners (or anytime, really)
- Poolside Bar: Cocktails by the pool. Need I say more?
- Snack bar: Convenient for those mid-afternoon cravings.
- Restaurants: Several – from casual to fine dining. I enjoyed everything I ate
For the Kids and Family - A Real Assessment
I wasn't traveling with kids, but I saw other families there. Numie Retreat House seems genuinely family-friendly. They advertised babysitting service, kids facilities, and kids' meals. I'd say it's a decent option with kids.
Getting Around - Stress-Free Travels
- Airport transfer?: They offer it, making the arrival seamless.
- Car park [free of charge]?: YES!
- Taxi service: They have a taxi service.
The Hiccups (Because Nothing's Perfect)
- Internet [LAN]: I didn't use internet LAN, but I did find the wi-fi cut out a few times.
The Verdict: Should You Book?
YES. ABSOLUTELY YES.
Escape to Paradise: Numie Retreat House is a winner. It's the perfect base for exploring Coles Bay and Freycinet National Park. It's comfortable, stylish, and offers that perfect blend of relaxation and adventure. It's not stuffy, it's not pretentious, it's just… good.
SEO-Friendly Offer (Because Everyone Uses Google):
Escape to Paradise: Your Coles Bay Getaway Awaits! Book Now at Numie Retreat House and Experience:
- Unbeatable Location: Explore the stunning Freycinet National Park, with easy access to Wineglass Bay and more.
- Luxurious Retreat: Relax in stylish, well-appointed rooms with free Wi-Fi.
- World-Class Amenities: Soothe your soul with spa treatments, swim in the outdoor pool, and dine at amazing restaurants.
- Safety First: Cleanliness and safety are top priorities, with enhanced hygiene protocols.
- Ultimate Relaxation: Unwind with a massage, enjoy the sauna, and let Numie Retreat House take care of everything.
Special Offer: (This is where you add your own marketing magic!)
- "Book your stay at Escape to Paradise: Numie Retreat House this month and receive a complimentary bottle of Tasmanian wine upon arrival!"
- "Enjoy discounts on select spa treatments when you book your stay!"
Book Now and create memories that will last a lifetime!
(Pro Tip for SEO): Make sure to mention keywords like "Coles Bay accommodation," "Freycinet National Park hotels," "Spa hotels Tasmania," "Wineglass Bay hotels," "Luxury hotels Australia," and "Family-friendly Coles Bay" in your marketing materials to capture relevant searches!
Unbelievable Famvida Villa: Your Ubud Bali Dream Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercup, because this isn't your sanitized, Instagram-perfect itinerary. This is the REAL DEAL, a potential disaster (in the best way) of a trip to the Numie Retreat House in Coles Bay, Tasmania. I’ve dreamed of this place – the pink granite mountains meeting the turquoise sea…yeah, that’s the image. Let's see what actually happens.
Numie Retreat House: My Coles Bay Chaos - A Diary of Delights & Disaster (Probably)
(This is not a rigid schedule, more like a suggestion box. Feel free to judge my questionable planning!)
Day 1: Hobart to Coles Bay – The Great Escape (and Possibly a Wrong Turn)
- Morning (Hobart):
- 7:00 AM - 9:00 AM: Wake up a bleary-eyed mess, realizing I packed approximately zero of the essentials. Toothbrush? Check. Underwear? Probably. Hiking boots? Nope. Panic. Scramble around, grab whatever vaguely resembles "outdoorsy" attire. Drink approximately three coffees, fueled by the adrenaline of impending adventure!
- 9:00 AM - 10:00 AM: Hire a car, Pray to the gods of traffic to avoid a disaster and be on time, hope I can operate a manual transmission without stalling every five seconds. (Let's just say, I'm rusty.)
- 10:00 AM - 11:00 AM: Quick Grocery Run – because I assume the retreat won't be serving caviar for breakfast. Bagels, fruit (for the illusion of health), and at least one packet of Tim Tams. Priorities, people!
- 11:00 - 12:00 PM: Drive to Coles Bay, enjoy the scenic Coastal Drive!!
- Afternoon (The Road):
- 12:00 PM - 3:00 PM: The Drive, Part 1. This is where the map lies. Those idyllic photos of the Freycinet Peninsula? They’re probably lying. I'm aiming for beautiful views, but let's be honest, I'll probably get lost at least once. Blasting tunes (probably something woefully uncool, like 80s power ballads). Hopefully, I'll avoid the lure of the "shortcut" through the forest, which usually ends badly for my navigation skills.
- 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Stop at a roadside cafe. Coffee refill. Maybe a cheeky pie. Contemplate the meaning of life while simultaneously admiring the view. Or, you know, spill coffee down myself.
- Evening (Arrival & Settling In):
- 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Finally, FINALLY, arrive at Numie Retreat House. Holy mother of god. Photos don't do this place justice. Total. Jaw. Drop. Wander around like a stunned tourist, feeling slightly overwhelmed by the perfectness of it all.
- 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Unpack. Or, more accurately, attempt to organize my mess of clothes into a somewhat coherent pile. Admire the view from the room. Take a deep breath and remember why I came here.
- 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Sunset Drinks on the Deck. (Wine/Beer – whatever calls my name.) A few deep breaths of that crisp Tasmanian air to work out the stress from the drive. Hopefully, the mosquitoes haven't discovered me yet.
- 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM: Dinner. Probably something I can throw together, or maybe, just maybe, a tiny bit of cooking skills. If I’m feeling brave, I might try to cook a fish I "caught".
- 8:00 PM onwards: Stargazing. OMG. This is the part I am most excited about. Just get lost in the night sky, feel tiny, and whisper "thank you" to the universe for this moment. Or I'll just be asleep.
Day 2: Freycinet's Embrace (or at least, a gentle shove)
- Morning:
- 7:00 AM - 8:00 AM: Wake up (hopefully before the sun is fully up!). Coffee and a quick assessment of how the body is feeling. Sore? Stiff? Worth it.
- 8:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Hike up to Wineglass Bay Lookout. This is the big one. The iconic view. Pray my legs don't give out. I'm aiming for a steady pace, not a race, and definitely not a competition with the super-fit hikers. Expect a lot of huffing and puffing, maybe some dramatic sighing, and definitely a few "wow" moments. The photo ops MUST happen.
- Afternoon:
- 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Picnic Lunch. Bagels with vegemite and a view. Heaven. Bonus points if I can avoid the seagulls from attacking.
- 1:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Beach time at Wineglass Bay. Okay, this is what I'm really looking forward to. Swim, splash, collect seashells, and try to remember how to actually relax. This bit of my life is going to need a total overhaul, and I’m going to try and do it right here, right now.
- 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Back to the retreat for a shower and some serious relaxation.
- Evening:
- 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Dinner. This is where things might go sideways. Try my hand at cooking something I’ve never attempted before. It's a holiday!
- 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Movie night. With wine… and the Tim Tams.
- 9:00 PM onwards: Stargazing or early to bed. Just maybe.
Day 3: Exploring & Surprises
- Morning:
- 7:00 AM - 8:00 AM: Coffee on the balcony, journaling - try to sum up thoughts.
- 8:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Explore! Take a trip to Hazards Beach or Honeymoon Bay, or Cape Tourville Lighthouse. Maybe try a kayak or boat tour on the water. This is where the spontaneity kicks in!
- Afternoon:
- 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Lunch.
- 1:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Take a walk around the retreat house area.
- 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Relaxing time! Have a drink.
- Evening:
- 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Dinner.
- 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Have a bonfire or a quiet evening.
- 9:00 PM onwards: Sleep.
Day 4: Heading Home (With a Heavier Heart & a Lighter Backpack)
- Morning:
- 7:00 AM - 8:00 AM: Last coffee, last look at the sunrise over the mountains. Feel a pang of sadness.
- 8:00 AM - 10:00 AM: Pack up, clean up whatever chaos I've created, and mentally prepare myself for the inevitable post-holiday blues.
- 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Check out and start the drive back to Hobart.
- Afternoon:
- 12:00 PM - 2:00 PM: Lunch.
- Evening:
- 2:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Drive back, enjoy the scenery.
- 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Check in to the hotel / get accommodation.
Important Considerations (Because I'm a Hot Mess):
- Pacing is Critical: My natural inclination is to cram everything in. Consciously fighting that urge. Slow down. Breathe.
- Food: Pack snacks. Lots of snacks. Hangry me is not a pretty sight.
- Weather: Tasmanian weather is notoriously unpredictable. Pack layers, raincoat, and sunscreen. And maybe a hat.
- Embrace the Imperfection: Things WILL go wrong. I WILL forget things. I WILL get lost. That's part of the fun.
- Be Kind to Yourself: This is a trip to relax and recharge. Don't put too much pressure on myself.
- Absolutely No Phone Calls: I am going to disconnect. I am going to feel disconnected. And that is going to be the best damn thing.
- The Emotion: I’m not going to lie – I might cry. Maybe in a moment of overwhelming beauty. Maybe when I realize how much
Okay, So… Escape to Paradise: Numie Retreat House – The Unfiltered Truth, Dude
1. So, Numie Retreat. Is it actually… paradise? Like, truly?
Ugh, that word. "Paradise." It's thrown around so much, it's practically meaningless. Look, Numie is gorgeous. Seriously, the photos? They're legit. The view from the deck? Utterly breathtaking. Waking up to the sun hitting the Hazards? Yeah, that's a solid contender for Paradise Adjacent. But truly paradise? Let's be real. There's no perfect place. And, as I learned the hard way, paradise can still have… quirks.
Like the time I tried to take a "romantic" sunset photo, and a rogue seagull decided my head was the perfect landing spot. Let's just say the initial *swoosh* of its wings, and then the… *squish*… wasn't exactly conducive to romantic vibes.
So, beautiful? Absolutely. Flawless? Nope. Which, honestly, makes it even more charming.
2. That deck… is it as amazing as the pictures suggest? Spill the tea!
THE DECK. Okay, hold on. Deep breath. Yes. It's ridiculously good. I spent a solid TWO DAYS just… existing on that deck. Reading, writing, staring at the water, watching the clouds drift by. The wind whipping through your hair. The salty air… Pure bliss.
But, AND this is a big but… it gets COLD. Like, Tasmanian cold. Especially in the evenings. Pack layers. And bring a really, REALLY good blanket. I learned this the hard way, shivering in a thin shawl, feeling absolutely ridiculous. Turns out, "coastal breezes" translates to "wind tunnel of doom" after the sun goes down. My advice? Embrace the cozy. Hot chocolate and all that jazz.
Also, watch out for the seagulls. Learned that one the hard way as well. Those buggers are sneaky…
3. Okay, location, location, location. Is Coles Bay actually… Coles Bay? Is it easy to get around?
Yes, IT IS Coles Bay. Like, literally in Coles Bay. And yes, it’s easy to get around, IF you have a car. It's tiny, bless its heart. Driving is super relaxed. You can get to Freycinet National Park (which, by the way, is also stunning, go see Wineglass Bay, I dare you) in like, five minutes. The shops? Also super close.
But, and this is important: Coles Bay is a *beach* town. And beach towns, especially in Tasmania, are best experienced with a laissez-faire Attitude. Don't expect an Uber. Or a packed mall. Or a wild nightlife. Think quiet mornings, empty beaches, and the rhythm of the ocean. Which, frankly, is kinda my jam.
Pro tip: stock up on groceries on your way in. The supermarket in Coles Bay is… well, let's just say it's got "character." And plan your meals. It's not a place you'd *expect* to be overrun with Michelin-star restaurants, know what I mean?
4. The Retreat House itself… what's the vibe? Is it modern? Rustic? What about the kitchen? I need coffee. Desperately.
Okay, the vibe is… coastal chic meets cozy cabin. Think clean lines, lots of wood, and a seriously comfortable feel. It's not stuffy or overly modern, which is a HUGE plus. It actually feels like a home you could live in, not some sterile show house.
The kitchen? Ah, the kitchen. It's well-equipped, which is crucial when you're in a place where going out for dinner every night might not be an option. Plenty of space to prep food, and yes, the coffee situation is SORTED. I think I used the Nespresso machine every morning. Multiple times.
My only minor quibble? I'm a sucker for a good dishwasher. It was a bit old. But honestly, that's just me being lazy. Washing up in that vast sink wasn't a nightmare, and gave me time to just... think.
5. About those "quirks" you mentioned… what were they? Spill the beans! (And don’t be shy, I want REAL answers)
Okay, alright. Here we go.
First, the internet. It worked, sometimes. It was a little… temperamental. Think dial-up speed in the 21st century. But honestly, it's a retreat house. You *should* be disconnected. Embrace the slow pace. Pretend you're living in the past and just… enjoy the birdsong.
Second, the wildlife. The wallabies are undeniably cute. But they’re also bold. One morning, I opened a window and found a wallaby *inside* the porch. It was munching on the… well, I think it was sunscreen. It was not the most glamorous moment. Learn a lesson from me, close the doors and windows!
Third, the weather. As I said, it can be beautiful, but it can also… change. Quickly. Pack for all seasons. Layers are your friend. And a waterproof jacket. Trust me on this one.
6. Okay, let's say I want to spend a week. What activities should I absolutely NOT miss? Be specific!
Okay, buckle up. THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF.
First, the hike to Wineglass Bay. Worth every single step. The view is unreal. Pack water, sunscreen, and a sense of awe. Seriously, the pictures don’t do it justice. It's a bit of a climb, so take your time. (I saw an older couple doing it with ease, so there's no excuses!). And the beach itself? Crystal clear water, white sand… pure paradise (yes, I’m using that word again, sue me!).
Second, kayak around the Hazards. The water is so clear, you can see everything. I saw seals, dolphins… it’s just incredible. If you're not feeling super active, though, it's probably a good idea to find someone who is; the water is choppy and the tide is stronger than it looks!
Third, enjoy the sunset from the deck. Seriously, grab a bottle of wine, some cheese (get it from the local shop!), and simply unwind. This might be the most important activity of all.
7. Okay, the big question. Would you go back? Honestly?
Without a doubt. Without hesitation. Despite the moody internet, the chilly eveningsTrip Hotel Hub
