Calais Coast: Unveiling France's Hidden Gem!
Calais Coast: Unveiling France's Hidden Gem! – Or Is It…? (A Brutally Honest Review)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I've just emerged, blinking, from a stay at Calais Coast, and honestly? My head's still spinning. This isn't your polished, PR-approved review. This is the real deal, the messy truth.
Accessibility: The Great Maze (and Maybe a Few Helpful Guides)
First things first, accessibility. Ugh. It's a mixed bag. The website says it's good, but reality? Not always. Wheelchair accessible? They claim it. I saw a few ramps, but navigating some of the corridors felt like a quest in an ancient temple. Elevator? Yes, thankfully. Facilities for disabled guests? They have some, but you might need to channel your inner Indiana Jones to find them. Getting around wasn't a breeze for me, a relatively able-bodied person, so I can only imagine the struggles for those with mobility issues. However, there is a car park [free of charge], that's a win if you're driving. And a taxi service is available, which is a lifesaver.
Internet, Internet, Everywhere! (But Does it Work?)
Wi-Fi in all rooms?! Free Wi-Fi?! Internet access [LAN]?! Okay, the website is basically screaming internet at you. And, praise the heavens, the Wi-Fi [free] mostly worked. Except when it didn't, which, let's be honest, is the story of my life. The Internet access – wireless connection was a little wonky in my room, and I never did figure out the Internet access – LAN. More importantly, though, I needed it for my work, and it held up enough to get me through.
The "Relaxation" Zone: Paradise or Pretenders?
Alright, let's talk pampering. The Spa/sauna, Spa, and Steamroom were definitely calling my name. I went in expecting heaven, and, look, it wasn't bad. The Sauna got the sweat flowing, and the Steamroom had that lovely, vaguely eucalyptus-y smell. However, the Pool with view? More like a pool adjacent to a view. Don't expect the infinity pool of your dreams. The Swimming pool [outdoor] was closed for the season, which was a major bummer and one of the biggest drawbacks. I did NOT get a Body scrub, or a Body wrap, but I did get to sit near the pool and that was nice. I did not partake in the Massage, and while I was there, was really looking forward to using their Gym/fitness center which was on the smaller side and not all that packed, but I didn't use it. The Fitness center looked sad and lonely inside.
Food Glorious Food (and Maybe a Few Regrets)
The food scene was a rollercoaster. Restaurants? Plural! A la carte in restaurant, Breakfast [buffet], Buffet in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant! They really swing for the fences here.
Here’s where things got…interesting. The Breakfast [buffet] was an experience. I walked in bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to conquer a mountain of croissants. And the croissants were good; buttery, flaky, the whole shebang. But the sheer scale of the buffet was overwhelming. Like, where do I even start? Do I go for the Western breakfast, or the Asian breakfast? And the coffee? Let's just say it ranged from "meh" to "burnt rubber."
But let me tell you about something. I had the BEST soup in the restaurant. The best. A creamy tomato soup was the PERFECT starter. I was ecstatic. This soup, this simple, humble soup, was the unsung hero of my trip. It was so good, I almost licked the bowl. Almost.
The Bar was lively enough, and perfect for a pre-dinner cocktail – though I never saw any other Happy hour. The Poolside bar was closed. The Coffee shop had some decent lattes, and the Desserts in restaurant weren’t half bad. I might have snagged a few Snack bar items as well.
Cleanliness and Safety: Sanitized or Suffocating?
Okay, the COVID protocols. They were SERIOUS. Like, everything was sterilized between uses. Daily disinfection in common areas, Rooms sanitized between stays, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Hand sanitizer, Sterilizing equipment, Anti-viral cleaning products, Professional-grade sanitizing services. I mean, they REALLY wanted to keep you safe. Which is reassuring, and I'm grateful for. Did it feel a little…clinical? Maybe. Did it also make me feel like I was constantly expecting a hazmat suit? Also, yes. The Safe dining setup gave me some peace of mind, and the Staff trained in safety protocol, and the Hygiene certification was welcome. The Physical distancing of at least 1 meter was generally observed, which meant that it didn’t feel too crowded.
The Other Stuff: Services and Conveniences
Laundry service? Yep. Dry cleaning? Yes. Concierge? Helpful (when you could find them). Daily housekeeping? Always on time and excellent. Doorman? Present and accounted for. The Luggage storage was useful. The Elevator was essential, and the Air conditioning in public area.
But let's be real, some of the "services" felt a bit… unnecessary? The Invoice provided was a formality, the Cash withdrawal was handy, and the Currency exchange was helpful. I’d have much preferred they invested in some more decent coffee.
The Room: My Personal Fortress (or Slightly Smelly Closet?)
I’m going to be brutally honest - the room was… fine. Non-smoking. That was good. Air conditioning that worked. Also good. Air conditioning in public area, that was nice as well. The Bed was comfortable, bathrobes… Yes! The Coffee/tea maker was a welcome addition. Free bottled water. Excellent. Mini bar, it was there, though I didn't use it. The Sofa was alright, but I would of loved an Extra long bed. The Desk was useful for working, the Laptop workspace was great.
The Smoke detector was on point, the Safe/security feature also seemed like a bonus. And, to my relief, the Window that opens.
For the Kids: Babysitting, Kids Meals, And More!
I did not experience any For the Kids, but the hotel offers a Babysitting service, and is Family/child friendly, offering Kids meal. There are even Kids facilities.
The Verdict: To Book or Not to Book?
So, is Calais Coast a hidden gem? Honestly, it’s more like a slightly tarnished silver trinket. Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private]. It has its flaws. It has its moments of brilliance. It's got a certain charm, and it's trying really hard.
Here's my honest take:
If you are looking for a truly accessible hotel, double-check their website.
If you're a foodie, pack your own coffee.
If you thrive on convenience, book it.
If you can roll with the punches, and you're looking for a decent getaway in Calais, then… maybe?
The Promo: Escape the Ordinary! (But Bring Your Own Coffee)
Tired of cookie-cutter hotels? Yearning for an adventure? Then Calais Coast is calling! We may not be perfect, but we're definitely… unique.
Book now and get:
- 20% off your stay!
- Free breakfast (though bring your own coffee, just in case).
- Access to our spa (and hope for the best).
Don't delay! Book your escape to Calais Coast today, and experience a hotel that's more like an experience! (And hey, at least it's not boring.)
Lefkada's Hidden Gem: Luxury Grey Suite w/ Private Parking!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because my planned trip to Le Côtier Calais, France, is about to become a glorious, messy, and probably slightly disastrous reality, laid bare for your… amusement? Sympathy? Just general morbid curiosity? Let’s get this chaotic show on the road!
Le Côtier Calais: A Slightly Haphazard Adventure (or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Channel)
Day 1: Arrival of the Slightly Deranged
Morning (7:00 AM - 9:00 AM): The Great Ferry Fiasco Begins
- Woke up. Coffee was burnt (classic). My partner, bless his heart, is a morning person; I am not. The pre-trip excitement was… muted, to put it mildly. Actually, it was a low hum of "Oh god, travel" and a desperate search for my passport, which I inevitably found wedged between a book about existentialism and a sock.
- Anecdote: Packing. The eternal struggle. Somehow, I managed to pack enough clothes for a month when I'm only going for three days. My backpack weighs more than a small toddler. Pray for my spine.
- Reaction: Panic. Mild, but persistent. Did I remember to unplug the iron? Did I book the right ferry?! Will I get seasick?! (Spoiler alert: Probably yes.)
Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): The Journey to Calais (and a Minor Existential Crisis on the Road)
- Took the ferry – it was a nightmare. Staring at the white cliffs of Dover, I was sure my breakfast was going to reappear. The ferry was full of screaming kids, and I think I heard a seagull cough up a hairball.
- Anecdote: I’m pretty sure a small child attempted to steal my sunglasses while I was staring into the abyss, battling nausea. This happened right after I saw someone else, with a bag of chips, and I wanted it.
- Observation: The English Channel, in all its choppy glory, is a reminder of how small we are. And also how good Dramamine is.
Afternoon (12:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Calais at Last! (and a Quest for Bread)
- Finally, land! Calais greeted us with a blustery wind and a general air of… well, it's Calais. It’s not Paris. It’s not Rome. But it’s France, and dammit, I'm hungry. First order of business: Baguette.
- Imperfection: We missed our pre-booked lunch reservation. Turns out, "getting to Calais on time" is harder than it sounds when one member of your party is prone to mid-journey existential contemplation (me).
- Quirk: I spent a good ten minutes trying to figure out how to pronounce "boulogne" (apparently it's just "BO-luhny," who knew?).
Afternoon (2:00 PM - 5:00 PM): Wandering and Wondering (and Maybe Getting Lost)
- Spent the afternoon wandering around the old town, trying to find something to capture my attention. Went from the Town Hall to Notre Dame Church and I even saw the Burghers of Calais.
- Rambles: There was so much to see, yet somehow, I felt… underwhelmed. Was this the famous French charm? Was I expecting too much? Maybe I'm just a cynical old lady trapped in a thirty-something’s body.
- Emotion: Mild disappointment, peppered with a persistent desire for a pain au chocolat.
Evening (5:00 PM - 7:00 PM): Dinner Disaster (and a Miracle)
- So…dinner. We tried to find a charming little bistro. We failed miserably. Most of the places were closed!
- Strong Emotion: Frustration. Hunger. The existential dread of not knowing what to eat.
- Miracle: Found a takeaway place, or as the locals call it, a "friterie". My partner ordered the "menu", while I ordered a burger. It was perfection. Truly. And it was cheap!
Evening (7:00 PM onwards): Hotel Hell (and Sweet, Sweet Slumber)
- Checked into the hotel. The room was…basic. The view was of a brick wall. But the bed was clean and that was all that mattered.
- Opinion: Let’s be honest, after a long day of travel and existential crises, a clean bed is the ultimate luxury.
- Pacing/Structure: Ended the day with a book. Slept like a baby.
Day 2: Calais, Revisited (with a Focus on the Food and the Feels)
- Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): The Quest for Coffee & More Baguettes
- Remember that "mild disappointment" from yesterday? Yeah, it’s gone. Replaced by a fervent love for French bread. Had coffee at a small cafe, the stuff almost blew the top of my head off, then walked the town and looked at the shops.
- Doubling Down: I found a bakery that, despite its name, offered the best coffee I've tasted in years. The bread. Oh, the bread. It was warm, crusty, and smelled like pure, unadulterated happiness. I bought two baguettes. One for now, one for later. (Spoiler alert: I ate both within an hour.)
- Afternoon (12:00 PM - 3:00 PM): Culinary Adventures (and a Close Encounter with a Seagull)
- Lunch. Finally, a proper sit-down meal. Ordered the local fish dish. I, being a novice, had no idea. It was amazing.
- Quirky Moment: While enjoying my meal, a seagull swooped down and tried to steal my chips. It looked me in the eye. It. Knew.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM - 6:00 PM): Beach Day (and Existential Reflections on the Sand)
- Went for a long walk along the beach. The wind was biting, the waves were crashing, and the sky was… well, it was a typical cloudy French sky. But it was beautiful in its own way. Took a few moments to sit down and reflect.
- Messy Structure: I wandered. I watched people. I thought. I don’t know what I thought, but I thought a lot. There were sandcastles, people fighting the wind. I bought some fudge.
- Honest Moment: Needed some alone time to reconnect with myself, to deal with the constant noise of my mind. Found it.
- Evening (6:00 PM onward): Dinner, Drinks, and Daydreaming
- Dinner at a bistro. Had some local wine. Did some people-watching. I felt… at peace.
- Emotional Reaction: Pure, unadulterated contentment.
- Natural Pacing: Ended the night with a walk along the harbor, watching the lights twinkle on the water. Daydreamed about moving to France.
Day 3: Farewell, Calais (and a Promise to Return, Eventually)
- Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Last Baguettes & Farewell Embraces
- Went and bought another baguette. Ate it with a smile.
- Humor: Before I left I saw some of those cute little French dogs.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM - 3:00 PM): The Long Journey (and the inevitability of it all)
- The ferry ride home. The wind. The waves. The impending return to reality.
- Opinionated: Travel is messy, tiring, and often disappointing. But it's also beautiful, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM onwards): So Long, Calais
- Arrived home.
- Closing Thought: I'll be back, Calais. Maybe not soon. But I'll be back. And next time, I’m packing extra baguette.
So, there you have it. My journey through Le Côtier Calais, a whirlwind of bread, existential dread, and seagull encounters. Hope you enjoyed the chaos!
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Calais Coast: FAQs (Because, Seriously, You *Need* to Know Before You Go!)
Is Calais Coast... well, *nice*? I mean, isn't it just… Calais?
Okay, let's be brutally honest for a sec: when I first heard "Calais," I pictured something akin to a giant petrol station with a depressing ferry terminal attached. And yeah, the ferry terminal *is* there, and it's functional. But darling, the COAST! Forget everything you *think* you know. It's a whole different vibe. Think windswept beaches, dramatic cliffs, charming villages. Not the picture postcard perfect, Insta-filter kind. This is *real*. It's got character. And you know what? That character is utterly captivating. I'm telling you, I almost choked on my baguette crust the first time I saw Cap Gris-Nez. It's that dramatic. It's not *just* Calais, people, it's the coast *around* it that's the gem. Seriously, go. Go now.
What's the weather like? Pray tell!
Ah, the weather! Expect… well, expect *weather*. It’s the North Sea, after all. That means dramatic skies. That means wind. That means, quite possibly, rain at any given moment. Layers, darling, *layers* are your best friend. I packed for a sunny beach holiday once and got completely soaked. I spent an afternoon huddled in a cafe, desperately trying to dry my socks, which, ironically, only made them smell worse. The locals, bless them, are used to it. They've got a certain "I'm used to being damp" look about them. But you know what? Even when it's drizzling, there's a certain beauty. The grey skies set off the colours of the sea and the cliffs like you wouldn't believe. It’s atmospheric. It’s moody. And then, sometimes, the sun bursts through, and you're practically blinded by its glory. Bring an umbrella, bring a waterproof coat, and bring a sense of adventure!
Beaches! Are there good beaches? Important question!
YES. Bloody YES! Okay, not all of them are sugar-white sand perfection. Some are pebbly, some are wild, some have amazing dunes to wander in. But they're *real* beaches. Wide open spaces, perfect for bracing walks, kite-surfing, and just… being. I spent a whole afternoon at Wissant beach once, just watching the windsurfers. Pure, unadulterated joy. Then I got totally sand-blasted, which was less joyous, but still part of the experience, you know? And the sunsets! Oh, the sunsets! Get yourself a bottle of wine, a baguette, and some cheese (the essentials, obviously) and watch the sun sink into the sea. It’s magical, I tell you. Just… watch out for the seagulls. They are ruthless, and they *will* try to steal your fries.
Food! What's the food like, and where should I eat? My stomach is growling!
The food! Oh, the food! Prepare to undo your belt a notch or two. Seriously. Fresh seafood is a must. Go to a little *cabane* (shack) on the beach and slurp down some oysters. Try moules frites (mussels and fries) done the proper way. And don't even *think* about leaving without trying the local cheeses. I’m addicted to Maroilles, a pungent cheese that smells slightly of dirty socks, but tastes divine. The restaurant situation is varied. Some are fancy, some are casual, and some are so small you feel like you’re eating in someone’s living room. Which is kind of awesome, actually. Do your research, ask the locals (they're usually happy to help), and most importantly, be adventurous! I remember this tiny place, Le Chat Noir, in a little village, and the food was out of this world – rustic, simple, perfect. Definitely try to seek out the local markets. Fresh produce, local cheeses, and a general air of ‘joie de vivre.’ It's pure heaven.
What about the historical stuff? I'm a culture vulture.
Oh, well, if you're into history, you're in for a treat. Calais itself has a fascinating (and slightly… dramatic) history, particularly relating to its location near the port and its part in the world wars. There's the iconic Burghers of Calais statue, which is genuinely moving. Dunkirk, the site of the famous evacuation during World War II is just a stone’s throw away. You'll find reminders of the past everywhere; crumbling fortifications, war memorials, and museums overflowing with stories. I'm no history buff, but even *I* was captivated. The scale of the events that happened in this area is mind-boggling. Plus, let's not forget the charming villages dotted along the coast, each with its own unique history and character. You could easily spend days exploring, and I highly recommend it. Just… don't expect everything to be conveniently signposted. Sometimes, you have to do a little digging (both literally and metaphorically!).
Is it easy to get around? Public transport? Driving? Give me the lowdown!
Okay, this is where things get a LITTLE… less perfect. Public transport *exists*, but it's not exactly abundant. I'd recommend driving if you can. Renting a car is the easiest way to access the more remote villages and hidden coves. Road signs can be a bit, shall we say, *suggestive*. I once took a "shortcut" that ended up being a muddy track. My little rental car did not approve. (Neither did I, when I had to scrub the mud off later.) But getting lost can be part of the fun! The views are beautiful, the roads are generally well-maintained, and driving is pretty relaxed. Just… familiarize yourself with the roundabout etiquette beforehand. And if you're not a confident driver, stick to the main roads. Also, parking can be a pain, especially in the summer. Prepare to walk a bit. And when in doubt, ask a local for directions. They're usually friendly, even if you butcher their language.
What should I pack? Don't forget to tell me!
Pack for *everything*. Seriously. Layers are key. A waterproof jacket is a MUST. Comfortable walking shoes are non-negotiable. Don't forget a scarf. A hat. Sunglasses (even if it looks grey – the sun can still be sneaky!). I ALWAYS pack a small first-aid kit, just in case. And, for the love of all that is holy, pack a spare pair of socks. You never know when you might need them! Beyond that… pack what makes *you* feel good. A favorite book, a journal, a bottle of sunscreen, maybe a small picnic blanket. Oh, and don’t forget your camera. You're going to want to capture those dramatic skies, those stunning cliffs, and those perfectStay Finder Blogs
